laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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