Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
