so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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