it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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