I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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