is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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