if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
