I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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