You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
