Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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