and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
