She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
