we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
