i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize