Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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