I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Is it because I queefed?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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