kristin has been a bad kristin
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
But break dance skills will only take you so far
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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