You smell like a Billy Joel song
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Randomize
