ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
