We won't sleep together?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
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