ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
