She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
