Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
