I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
