Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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