like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
