why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
