you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize