no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
