You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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