if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
