Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We had to coat check the pizza.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
jump out the window naked night went bad
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
