: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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