How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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