After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
