She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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