He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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