Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
