So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
