May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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