you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
