My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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