if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
