I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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