I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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