do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
