I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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