So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
