ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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