man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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