he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
