I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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