My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
