Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
