no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize