I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
