Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
