I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
