Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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