Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
