You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Randomize
