I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
