There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
