I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I smell stomach acid.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
