I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
