We're facebook friends in real life
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
