can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
